I Hate Cupid!
Cupid hit me right through the deepest part of my heart but seems to forget to aim his arrow on Mr. Right’s too!
For months now I’ve been trying to conceal how I feel towards this man… I keep on saying, “no we’re just friends”, “I just enjoy talking to him”, “things will be no more than friendship”. Until someone told me this… “Hey girl you are in love with him!”
And that was what I dreaded the most! I never thought that I would be in this situation again. Again? Uhm, I think not. This is the worst so far. This is something that you wouldn’t want to be in. But I know that I am not alone in this kind of situation. Others could relate to what I am into right now.
The scenario…
A friend introduced me to this man and I want to call him Rayver. Don’t question the name because I don’t want to elaborate why I wanted to call him by that name. Anyway, so we were introduced. First, through chat then meet for a coffee with my friend, of course. And then went out again for snacks and at that time just the two of us. And again, and again, and again.
We shared some good laughs, I sometimes consulted him about things that I have in mind, some with regards to work, some about personal stuffs. Rayver is so eloquent and probably that’s the reason why I enjoyed talking to him. He is also funny, a great dancer and a good singer. A total performer I must say! Someone even commented that he is a person whom you will never have a problem with in dealing with people. And, yes he is! He could easily adjust to the people around him and mingle with them even it’s their first time to meet.
Knowing him more and more everyday drew me a lot closer to him. I’ve known his views in life why he is what he is today and what he plans in the future. Although I am not saying that I completely knew him. He is so interesting that you will really enjoy a conversation with him.
Now…
I am aware that I had fallen for him and must admit that it happened long before. I am happy just to see him online and happier when he was the first to buzz in. Recently, I tried ignoring him when he gets online but desperately praying that he would start it. Call me crazy but that is really what I am doing.
I am trying to ignore him because of the fact that I’ve fallen. I don’t want to entertain the feelings I have for him right now since it will result into nothing. He has his plans and he will stick into in. And no matter what I do, I am not the dream girl he would wish to have. Plus the fact that he has a wide array of women to choose from. I mean if he wanted to be with someone, he could. He just has to choose…
If I am to write a letter to Joe d’ Mango about this he would probably advice me to let Rayver know about my feelings then be ready for the consequence. And this would only mean, putting an end to the friendship for which right now, is something that I couldn’t let go of…
My future plans…
I will continue writing bits and pieces of my feelings for Rayver and will use this blog space to release my heart’s desire. If this blog will reach his knowledge then realize that it was about him so be it! Maybe by that time I am already over him…or, Cupid might as well make sure that he will hit Rayver’s heart and make him aware that I am here…
tmulcahy said,
March 29, 2007 at 9:41 pm
Ah! I am in the same situation. Actually, the one I’m in love with may know it, but ignores it. I am glad I found this blog space, as I’ve been writing it down, and I feel like I have an outlet. I thought at first I might get it out of my system this way, but that hasn’t happened. My Miz Right will only be a friend if I keep it on that level. I don’t know what to advise you, but I suspect that Rayver knows how you feel. I know it seems like our feelings are so wild and deep that no one could know until we express it openly, but that’s not always true.
apols1205 said,
April 1, 2007 at 10:08 am
Hi Tamulcahy!
Thanks for taking time reading my post on “I hate Cupid”. I appreciate it what you have shared with me. I just hope that you and your Ms Right will eventually be more than friends. Being a man, in your case, seems to be easier than mine, I guess. Since you have the options to let’s say, court her. You know what I mean, right? Me, I will have to bury my feelings for my dearest Rayver until the time comes that I get over him and start to let go..
Again, thank you!